"We are a performance-based people, which is completely ironic, because out performance every day is far less than perfect." In Everyday Grace Jessica Thompson teaches about relationships, and WHO should be the center of those relationships. Her point it that we can do nothing on our own to have deep relationships.
She uses the example of Adam and Eve, and how they lived in perfect harmony until they made the choice to sin. After that they blamed each other, pointed fingers at each other and hid from God. I loved when she said, "Owning our OWN mess will make us gracious toward everybody else who is a mess also. We won't place crazy expectations on others, because we will know that we can't even fulfill those expectations ourselves." TRUTH! This is something I wish I would have learned when I was younger - BORN maybe?!
Thompson discusses how showing love towards others isn't just an option, it is a command! We can do nice things for people. We can ACT like we love them. Our most important thing is loving the people!
Thompson also points out that our friends AREN'T Jesus, and we shouldn't try to place them in that role! Doing this places unrealistic expectations on people, and takes away our need for Jesus! When we put anything in Jesus' place, it becomes an idol!
Everyday Grace is a good book that has plenty of great information - or reminders depending on where you are coming from.